I am having a hard time with T-ball, coach pitch baseball and softball seasons this year. Last year, I was reading “Punished by Rewards,” a chapter about competition, while waiting for my daughter’s at-bat, while she was in softball. Now, a new season is here and I am hating it. I can’t believe how many awful things happen that I would not have even noticed before reading that book. Yesterday was awful. I try to tell my kids it is only about learning, getting exercise, having fun and making friends, and it is not about winning, being good at something, listening to the cheering, laughing, or compassionate, “That’s O.K.” comments, from the people watching the game. I also restrain myself from saying “good job,” clapping, or saying, “Yay,” or “That’s O.K.” or, “You can do it!” Just the same, the pressure from my husband, the grandparents, the team mates, the other spectators, and the coach, are really hurting my kids. They don’t see it the way I say it is. The others are so much louder than one little me, and they don’t “hear” me. My kids wanted to sign up and play, and I did not want to stop them. If I don’t go to the games, then even little me cannot be heard in a small way, so I feel like I must go, and “fight” for my child. I need to figure out a way to let my kids play baseball without community recreation. I want to just go play as a family next year, regularly, instead.