Here are 3 questions that many people who don’t even know us very well ask my kids throughout the year.
“What have you learned today/ this week/month/year/summer?”
Answers are like this:
“I learned about Jesus.” This answer pleases teacher in church. Why wouldn’t it please this person?
generic pleasing answer: “science.”
“What did you DO in homeschool today/ this week/this month?”
These are some answers my kids give:
“chores” or “cleaned the house” (this they say for sympathy from the interrogator)
“played on the wii” (this is the honest answer of my littlest one because it is all he thinks about and even if he plays for 5 minutes, it is the highlight of his day, and therefore all that he remembers).
All of these 3 responses have the potential of leading people to think awful things about me and about homeachooling, but I am now in a healthy mental state wherein I do not care what they think because I know the truth and I do not feel bad about it. I know I am doing a great job and do not feel insecure about my homeschooling methods.
The people sometimes look at me to scowl at me, make some judging face, or smile at me sincerely because my kids are just like theirs (normal) and they have no judgement for me. I like the people who respond the third way. I feel I can trust them more.
Some look at me just for a response, as in, “What is your defense?”
I do not defend myself because this is a tactic I feel others can use to make me feel like I have to answer to them. I know I don’t not have to answer to them and that they cannot make me feel guilt about homeschooling, so I just smile. This confuses some people and they become even more upset. I am sure these ones are thinking, “How can she not feel any remorse when her kids learn about Jesus or nothing, play the wii and are slaves all day?”
“Do you have any friends?”
My kids usually answer, “Yes.”
This frustrates them because I think they wanted or expected an answer like, “No. My mom keeps me locked up in the house and refuses to let me meet other people and make friends.” It also frustrates them because then they realize it was a yes or no question.
So they ask the follow-up question, which is, “Oh, really?” (In a surprised tone of voice) Who are your friends. What is upsetting after that is that then people decide whether someone “counts” as a friend or not.
I have come to the conclusion that for many people, the following do not “count” as friends:
- any homeschoolers
- anyone of an unequal age
- anyone of the opposite sex
- anyone related to the child
- any neighbor
- anyone they met at church
- anyone they met in playing sports or at lessons
- anyone they do not see 5 days a week, 6.5 hours a day, 180 days of the year
In short, many people will never be satisfied in this area, so I will go with this: “You can’t please everyone, so ya, ya got ta please yourself! …..Na na na, A na a na na na….”