One thing people who do not homeschool or did not homeschool their kids often notice when they see my kids, is how good they are at childcare, or at caring for littler kids and babies. Sadly, most often, it is seen in a NEGATIVE LIGHT. Sadly, it puts too many under the impression that I am an awful mother. Here are some things people have said to me:
— “At least you actually teach your kids. Some people who homeschool just turn their kids into childcare slaves.”
(This was meant as a compliment, but the fact that this person thinks other homeschool moms do that is just mean and sad. I wonder why this person thinks homeschool moms do that.)
— “She is good with the kids, but that is what she does, right? She keeps care of the kids always. Do you babysit for her sometimes and let her have a break?”
— “She practically raises him, doesn’t she?”
(referring to my young daughter and my preschooler)
Some people need a point of reference because there are parents who take advantage of kids. Here are the facts. My daughter is a teen and babysits once a week. We pay her $1 per child per hour in Utah. On top of that, when I need to take a shower, go to the bathroom for 5-15 minutes, make dinner for 15 to 30 minutes, or plant the garden with her dad’s help for a few minutes to a couple hours, we ask her to wath the baby inside where he will not run into the road. Sometimes, I ask one of the other kids. It is not always her.
This is just a guess, but I think that many people think youth should not be good with kids and that if youth are good with kids, it must be because all they do is childcare, all day long every day. I also think that, sadly, many people just enjoy judging the homeschool mom and think it brings them to a higher plane of existence when they knock her down. It could possibly be because they see something good in her children and the way she is raising them and they are upset that most moms do not get that result in youth. They feel that they need to defend themselves not by playing defense, but by attacking (playing offense). I think they think that attacking her in this way will make them better than the homeschool mom. After all, turning kids into childcare slaves so that the mom can sit and eat bon bons all day and watch soap operas is wrong! Since her kids are good with kids, it must be this way. What else could explain why they are so good with kids?
You know, there are a lot of kids who are not homeschooled and are good with kids and babies, too. My mom used to do childcare to earn extra money. My siblings and I were often asked to babysit because of this. We were clueless and had a lot to learn, but my sister and I also love the “Babysitters Club” book series, and we loved being around kids and babies. I do not think we were awesome sitters. Even when I became a new mom, I had a lot to learn. I once changed my niece’s diaper and used Clorox wipes instead of baby wet wipes on her bum. The point I am trying to make, though, is that even though we were not homeschooled, there were other reasons we were pretty good with kids and babies. Some of these reasons were:
• because my mom did childcare for pay during our childhood
• because we read books about babysitting
• because we were hired to babysit often
• because we just adored babies and little kids
So, if you see a homeschooled child who is good with kids, please do not assume it is because the mom is neglectful of her offspring. If you are jealous, then just give your child more opportunities ti be around little kids and babies and teach your child these skills. Your child can learn this in the summer, after school or on weekends. If there are not little kids or babies around, find a friend or relative who has some and offer to tend them. Make sure your child is around to observe, be taught and learn.
If you do not have jealousy, but maybe your kids are all raised and you feel you have wisdom to offer the world, so you think your job is to go around insulting the new generation of moms, please remember that we, the new generation of mothers, are now in charge, whether you like it or not. You had your turn. Your turn is over. If we ask for advice, please give it. If we do not, then please do not give it. Please do not offer your opinion freely, but only when we ask for it.
The reasons I plead for this for all of the new generation are these:
• It is harder than you think to raise kids now. It is harder than it was in your day because there are more horrible things out there for the mama bears to fight away from our cubs. Your judging us inly lets us know to trust you less because is clues us in to how clueless and naive you are about what things are really like now.
• Finances are tighter now for one income families than they were in your day.
• Hours in our day are so extremely limited.
• We are constantly working and constantly exhausted from nonstop hard work.
• You have likely forgotten what it was like for you. Maybe you think you remember back 20, 30 or 40 years. You cannot. We know because if you could remember, you would not give your critical opinion, judge us, lecture us and so forth. If you remembered, you would just be kind, understanding, supportive and gracious. However, you hardly ever are, so we know you do not remember. Your house has been spotless for 40 years, so you are good at this now. Your house was not spotless 20, 30 or 40 years ago when you had lots of little kids all day long every day. You think it was. You know you are losing your memory, but somehow, you think that your memory of having a spotless house, perfect kids and being a perfect young mom are extremely accurate.
• Some of you were never stay-home moms. If you were never a stay-home mom, do not judge stay-home moms. ‘Nuff said on that (though you probably STILL think you know what it is like to be a stay-home mom, since you did it in the evenings and on weekends with lots more money, a bigger house, better clothing, a better car, better vacations, better toys, less mending to do, better stores you can afford to shop at, more convenience meals, more money to go out to eat, and having spoken with adults all week).
• Jesus told you not to judge. Jesus said if there is a mote in the other person’s eye and you want to take it out for them, then first remove the beam that is in your own eye so that you can see clearly to remove the mote from the other person’s eye.
I am sure there are others who also judge homeschool moms because their kids are good with kids. I do not know everyone who does this. If the reason you see my kids being good with kids, as negative, is because this lets you know that my kids are not learning the same way the kids do in public school and this makes you angry because of your tax dollars at work or because homeschool moms are ruining the community’s children, which children the community should decide how to raise. Here are some facts:
• These kids are mine and mine to raise. They do not belong to the community. The idea that they do comes from Karl Marx, the father of Communism. Anyone who thinks my kids should be raised in a way of which the community approves, when not abused in any way, has been influenced a lot more by communist ideas than they know. I love my kids and want the best for them. I am raising them this way because I think this is the best decision for our family.
• Tax dollars do NOT pay to educate homeschooled kids and I pay the same taxes you do (I am not exempt) for public and charter schools. We buy all of the educational materials ourselves.
• We are not ruining our kids, nor are we giving them a disadvantaged life. If you look at the statistics, homeschooled kids are still better at learning how to live in the real world, better on tests and better at colleges and Universities than public-schooled kids when you figure the averages. This does not mean all homeschooled kis are better at these than all public-schooled kids. When you take the average, you consider all of the kids in the system.
In conclusion, I would like to say that it is not a bad thing for youth and children to be good at childcare, and that my having a goal to raise mothers and fathers is not a bad thing. You know that it is a good thing, but somehow, society is trying to propogandize you into thinking it is downright unnatural. This is a lie. The father of all lies is Satan. Satan has good reasons for convincing you to believe that my raising good mothers and fathers is a negative thing that should be scorned. One of the signs that Christ’s 2nd coming is nearer is that people will call good “evil” and evil “good” and sadly, this childcare abitily issue is one of those things. Please do not say that my kids knowing chilcare is a bad thing. It is a good thing. Mother Eve knew this and you should, too.